Poem #8

Paying 4 Us & What We Did

Now I am paying,

for all the things I did

I am paying for all the pain I caused you

For it was all my fault I got pregnant and had a kid

Paying for the grocies and bills,

won't even give you back what you'd already lost

For you missing her first step, word, and graduation

Won't be put at any cost

So now shes 22,

and on her own

It comforts me to know though,

that with just one dial I can hear her voice is on the phone

Believe me,

it's not easy to let go

But by having three kids and being alone

I guess I should know

What hurts me the most is not letting them go,

its knowing they don't have a dad

cuz I wanted my kids to have everything

Everything I never had

Once you found out I was pregnant with numba two,

You left without telling anyone

Not even me,

So right, then and there, I said I was threw with all this BS you were putting me through.

Jenny was 5

and Lyndia was three

Thomas was 1 after two and half years of being gone

So now it was just Jenny, Lyndia, Thomas, and me

In the first months of you gone,

I had lots of help from people,

people I didn't even think cared,

like your mom

Luckily she supported me,

and was their until the end

Now she's something I could never live up to

a best friend

Since she doesn't have a job,

she watches our kids during the day

and I go to work

just to make enough to bring home a small toy each day

I love my life,

and I wouldn't trade it for anything

I'm glad I went through this,

for all those glorious things like peace and quiet, I don't miss

TOXICGURLZ43 at Heavenly Nights

BROOKE MARIE INC.